| I still feel you when your not there, or I want to |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|01:39 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  exanimate | ] |
You know I'm totally going to crack down with school I have no job, no friends really like what else is there to do seriously I need to get my life back together, before i came up here I had everything, a car, a job, friends, a life, a band, like holy crap... But I was miserable so I need to not look back at it I guess. I thought I would have everything worked out and a plan for stuff by now, I mean Ive been up here, comming up on 4 months, its crazy. I feel so stupid. But yeah so today I'm doing alot of work and stuff, gonna get alot of stuff to work on at home. Staying till 5, working out rides to be here at 10 30 everyday. I just need to get out of the house and get my stuff going. I miss hanging out.. with everyone, like I had matt as my best friend and hes great at it but with all thats been going on... ughh this is retarded. Haha, this isnt really a journal thing I dont really talk about whats going on unless its like huge or something I just sit here and complain about everything its kinda funny. So here we go, whats did i do today, lol i woke up and then started corys car, and then watched Judge joe brown and then came here and... wait wait wait.. I ate 3 chocolate covered cherries (omgosh YUMMY :P Haha) and THEN I came here, and then did a report in Social Studies, which i finished, and then took a test, which i have to take again, lol and then I tried to take another test but didnt have time so Imma study and take again tomorow and now I'm sitting here, thinking missing people.. somebody and writing about pshh.. Me? lol yehz. I have a life right? |
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| Work things out then hold me tight |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|01:43 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Today is pretty... weird I guess. But I'm not gonna make another entry of just complaining. Ive so been writing alot in here, its crazy look at my last 3 things, its insane how much I have to say. I woke up tired as ever took a shower then like, just lounged around its dumb, I've been totally drained all day, all week. But in my mind hyper as ever. I think I need a hug, A big huge hug where like I dont have to give any effort but I get this big tight long awesome hug. So I guess I'm gonna go home, play some guitar, and sleep, THats it. wait... nevermind. I'm hanging out with Levi. Yep yep, Maybe I'll get one of those hugs. I'm so just gonna stop so I dont go off in a complaining rant... of doom. :P |
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| And now I know, my weakness is I care too much |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|12:40 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  crushed | ] |
Super bowl! was yesterday, Haha, some good commercials this year, I think Sprint wins. Crime deterrant...hehe... Okay... well Yeah I think I'm getting sick, either that or... just feel like crap. I'm happy though don't get me wrong. Little bro Levi called the other day, it was cool getting to talk to him and it sounds like hes kinda growing up a little. My dad is all nice to him and such now.. Being an only child for a while is a good thing for him I guess.. He doesn't need me, hes cool and I guess can take care of himself... I know what my problem is though... I care too much about everything and I cant ever let go or say good bye... its so stupid and driving me crazy, This morning on the radio there was that song by Frankie J that Kit played me like... last time I saw him, so of course 'm thinkin of Cali, So I turned it off and then Scars by Papa Roach came on, n i dunno, I dont feel good. lol I remember being a dork singin that waitin for the bus, sunrise in Cali... and that song is so true for me too... cept the Drunk part but like, yeah nevermind, whoever knows my old journal knows what I'm talking about, but nobody really reads this anymore so this s kinda like talking to myself. I think I write in this too keep myself sane, but thats really what my music is for. I wish My dad would like... just send me my guitar for my b day... I dunno if hes even gonna call... Oh well. I wish I could just go skate or walk down around Solvang.. but I cant. I cant really walk anywhere up here. Theres nowhere to go and its too cold. Maybe If I lived in Palmer or Sutton or soldotna or anchorage... like Wasilla, there isnt really anywhere to go, there isnt any like cute neighborhoods or anything near me.. or at least not that I know of. I'm just complaining, I need to stop. But before I do theres one more thing. Levi is my life, I love him to death and would do anything for him. Everything I do is school or him when he leaves. I dunno what I'm gonna do. Ya know I'm with him threw anything and Im going to stick with him threw boot camp and whatever else, I'm still scared of him leaving though. I'm used to being the one with eeveryone, like in Cali, and Colorado, my whole life, I've always had LOTS of friends. Up here now I only have him. I'm not complaining about that, just gonna be alone for 8 weeks.. then however long it takes me to get out of this place... |
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| And its all just a smear of colors, like your life passing you by |
[Feb. 3rd, 2006|12:06 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  blank | ] |
Back in with my mom I guess, Either that or send me off to Cali or drop out of school. I'm not dumb, so I guess I'll stick it out till I can graduate and get out. There are good things about it though. Im most likely working with Cory now, KFC, you know, we have places for band practice. Levi doesn't really want the band thing, which kinda sucks, but as long as I can write and make music, theres always a chance to smile for something. I keep thinking about when he is going to leave... and it sucks... seriously so bad, but when I can get out, I'm with him all the way. Im having like... guitar withdrawls, Its like a drug, you know from now on thats my excuse. People dont believe me when I say that I'm never gonna do it, and that I never have beacuse Ive seen how bad you screw up... both my parents, so... Yeah now, lol its that reason too but the music. When I can be as happy and giddy up on what I know how to do, and for everything you can write. Why would I turn to that for anything. If it makes you feel good... So does the adrenaline of being on stage or going solo, just playing something you wrote or are just making up. Feels good, lol keeps me happy. When your sad, angry whatever, if you do the drugs cause that "makes them go away" well there ya go, best time to write music... It bugs me soo much so many kids or people or whoever, if we get talking about it and I say I dont and wont do it ever cause of my parents and the way they are now and the fear of turning out like them... alot of times you hear the same thing from them. Yeah my parents did it and theyre both washed up losers now but its fun, whatever... They are so blind, or maybe need to find something else to live for, if they saw in thier parents what I see in mine.. they wouldnt second gues it. I love my dad, and my mom, you know they are family, I just dont wanna be like them, They have done everything in the world they can offer for me and its awesome, I just hate the fact their lives are how they are now. They deserve more, but wouldnt wake up so.. idk. I just pray everynight that they are happy and well off. so Far they are, and it amazes me. Just so long as I have my music and god right here next to me, which will be always,theres no bigger smile. Im so just ranting. Ha..
Anyways. So I'm back in the house... gettting a job, wishing I still had my acoustic.. or any for that matter, and with school... should be graduating this year. Its hard but I think I can do it. If not then the beggining of next year. Other then that I dont know where I'm going with anything. My family.. doesnt change but its breaking and falling and... pretty much torn to crap. THen friends wise... well D doesnt call me no more. Nobody from cali... really. But I guess thats my fault so no blame there, its me. THen here ummm well Gus... Yeah.. i dunno. THen Matt needs to cheer up, learn that people suck, lol, and write and sing and do whatever, but we havent hung out. Job Corp... blah. Then Levi is perfect, All i got, and hes gotta be happy cause then imma not doing my job. lol. Hes over alot I love em. COry... i dont know if he is moving out or not... like he feels like crap cause my mom and dave kinda want him out, so nothing like this keeps happeneing cause it gets worse everytime an Dave is scared of Cory. So cory needs to happy up and come home. And thats Reality. Back in Cali, Everybody... like... There would always be something happeneing I knew everyone and there mom and it was awesome. But now Ive got the best Boyfriend, the best best friend there could ever be, and Im in the place that I wanna be.So I guess in some ways dreams come true. What a weird dream huh? |
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| Home and Well Keep me and Hold me when you can, Id do anything to hold you forever |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|12:41 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | Sublime- Under My Voodoo | ] |
Okay Haha, well... yesterday... No school for me cause... well okay long story here I go...
Well all morning Dave was being all anal like usual but he was super Grumpy Pants yesterday. So me and cory had our clothes all downstairs in the laundry room cause I was gonna do our laundry... cause thats what people do... when thier clothes are dirty... SO I go upstairs and get out of the shower make some coffee and then hes like I told your brother a little while ago that he needs to go threw a basket of clothes down there and get his clothes out, if they are still in there when you guys leave here in a little while to go to school then I'll throw them away so can you please make sure he did that. And so I go down there get all his clothes out of them for him, and then like 5 minutes later, we start leaving because we were going to school and he stops at the door and yells out okay theres still alot of your guys stuff down there I guess you dont want it Im throwing it out, Dont expect it to be here when I get home, so Im like wait did you want our dirty stuff out of there too and you never said anything about my clothes and hes like nope too late and closes the door so im like What the heck dave, and go up and open the door and he pushes me away from it out so im almost falling on the ice, but i grabbed the railing there, so i put my foot on it and push it open then my ankle is like stuck inthere and he SLAMS the door on it so now i have a twisted ankle but then cory saw that and hes like Oh heck no, and jumps over the fence and kicks the door cause then Dave had locked it, and just kicks and kicks and kicks the door down and goes in and hes like your not throwing our clothes away, and dont EVER touch my sister again and hes like yeah im throwing it away and you can get out, your not welcome here anymore, get out of my house, so i go in there tell him hes a dick and has no right to tell him he cant come home, and hes like well he doesnt have any right to kick down the door and you cant F***ing get out too, you guys get your S*** and dont come back and my mom has told him MANY times he cant kick us out cause thats some thing he tries to pull everytime we wont do something for him cause he is a lazy bum. And so we go down stairs and he calls up my mom and hes like you need to speak to your children they FOR NO REASON kicked in the door and are out of control so Dave comes downstairs feeling all cool and in charge and hes like You need to call your mom immediately, and the phone was out of service cause the phone bill didnt get paid... again, so dave puts his Cell on speaker phone and my moms going off on me and cory saying were crazy and out of controll and need to come up with money to fix the door today, then she was like you had no reason to kick in the door and cory just goes off dave has no reason to push me around and starts yelling at dave that he will NEVER touch me again, and my mom goes off on Dave now cause what really happened got out and she came home as soon as she could and she was like fighting with him about it for a while and then she came down and shes like you two pack your stuff, so im like... wow were both really getting sent out, but then shes like were all moving to grandmas Dave is stayin here or doing whatever and so were like... yeaaaah. lol Finally, and then dave by that time had corys Keys, of course school had already started. So then mom gave cory the spare Key, So we get our stuff packed start the car to leave cause we didnt even think dave was gonna be a douche and steal the keys out, he left it running for like 5 minutes, RIGHT before we were leaving, we were both going to put the last things in the car and leave and dave run back to his truck we relize... The keys are gone, my mom is right behind us so cory goes, MOM you got the keys?!!? No... so then dave is tryin to speed out and cory runs, jumps on the rood of his car, holds on by the wiper blades and is bangin on the winsheild, GIVE ME MY KEYS, and dave speeds up trying to flick cory off the hood and then speeds up like hes gonna run him into a tree and KNEW for a fact cory would get hurt. so cory relizes that and stands up on the moving truck, Kicks the winsheild in... Jumps off the hood and yells GET OUT give me my F***ing keys, and Dave comes out, OH NOW WE GOT A PROBLEM so corys like Weve had a problem this whole time. so he goes in my moms crying like Why did you do that, they can lock you up for that and so dave is like hes going to get locked up for that, Im calling the cops. and i was like... amazed... it was a movie... you know how people say those things dont happen in real life... screw that, yeah they do. So i left, I was scared, I mean ... cory locked up for that... and it all started with dave pushing me around... I dunno for some reason I still think its my fualt so I walked like halfway to Freds... didnt know what I was doing so I turned around, went back home... plus i needed a sweater it was like 5 degrees, lol and so I went back home, stoped freaking out. But then like My mom was home Crying on the phone with my grandma, Dave was looking up the number for the local police and cory was like whatever dude, So I got a couple bucks for the pay phone and walked to the bowling Alley then turned around, went to freds and called Levi, talked to him for a while, and then Gus and his room mates cam and got me, By then Matt and Chris and Luke had been driving around looking for me and stuff so they stopped by my house and fixed my moms truck cause dave screwed it up. Then dave was burning something when I went back to grab a jacket and I just found out this morning it was all his plants and stuff so he wouldnt be caught with it... Freaking Queer dude... seriously. But yeah so then My mom was at my grandmas, shed came and got me then but Emily brought cory to work. So far all we know is that, ummm Dave gets the dogs, he has the house but cant afford it by himself so he is gonna end up having to move and we get spamoni and the horse, then we just have to split stuff up but he says the car is under his name, but all the vehicals are under both thier names accept my moms truck is hers. So Dave is taking the car so he has to make payments on it and i dont know if he relizes is but that means cory is gonna fix the windsheild and daves paid off truck is ours, lol and then Robb is gonna come work on corys Jimmy, so I get a truck out of this too, lol after we get corys jimmy running, and then we just gotta get my stuff out of the house and such so were working on that, I get rides to school from my mom right now, Rides home... after I take this new class to be dropped off near our old house... and then I go up to the horse and stay at katies house till i get a ride to palmer.... And ummm thats whats up. So now I have internet at home, as soon as I get my computer over there.... so out of all this... lol Missed school and moved again, and alot of stuff is gonna be weird for a while but hey, theres so many good things... still sucks though... Aww then Levis car finally started but poor Kitty, thier cat they think got picked up by a bird.. Im sad, I get to go to hockey and hang out with Levi as soon as he gets out of Anchorage today. Then what else has happened.... Ummm I talked on the phone for and hour with my Dad and stuff... ughh I shouldnt even call him... I just wanted to talk to my little bro Levi, wish him happy B Day, but I didnt get too, He went to bed early for his Yosemite trip. He will be back Saturday, so Ill call him then but still. Thats all thats new. Later GOSH I typed alot, haha... Coffee made me do it.. Bye byes |
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| Lifes not throwing her rocks pretty living, dont smile and turn back now |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|02:44 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
Yup, okay today pretty much rocks and I dont know why, lol Im like hyper and happy and dorky and.... normal I guess, lol. Ummm And I totally can get assignments from here from classes im not in and get stuff done like that.... Im soooo shooting for graduating this year... seriously im freaking happpy now, lol and im taking on another class so ill get out at 5 instead of 3 30 and ill have to take the bus till i get my car so that kinda blows but STILL, lol and i still dont know how im gonna get a car but.,... I guess we can work on that later. Haha i just wrote a paper and totally proud of myself. Lifes looking up and its awesome. I finally have a CD with my favorite songs on it, singing like ALL OF THEM in my mind right now, OMG THE PEOPLE IN MY BRAIN ARE DANCING!!! haha, woop Party? sure.... okat imma drop that. lol Thanks to Matt I have cool music.... oh yeah, haha and I have a sweettacular spiffalacious (look at my sweet words that pretty much dont exsist) writting untencil, lol.... a jacked Mc Donalds Pen... Haha okay, imma get crackin on some work.... Okay can you not tell that im totally hyper.... haha a whole pot of coffee this morniing and i even still have some... lol... i likea coffee.. Toodles (wow that sounds gay... never again) :p |
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| Here we go, were back again, your someone distant, goodbye my friend |
[Jan. 24th, 2006|02:11 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  cold | ] |
Its soo cold in here Grr.. ihave the chills. I dont feel good today, I dunno why, this morning was awesome, wakin up next to Levi.I love him... and I dont know if ive said much in here about him but I honestly can picture myself right next to him, for the rest of my life, and nothing in the world can make me happier... The coast gaurd thing is a really great thing for him ya know, Its a great way to go. I really just want him to be happy but if Im keeping him here doing somtehing he doesnt wanna do... i dunno, I feel bad... I wish I could graduate SOON, so I could go with him. If I graduated this year... like in the next 4 months or whatever it is... I could go with him.. but its hard to do it on my own, without internet, without... any clue as to what I can do to teach myself all this... Its really frustrating.. Ive been being really dumb lately... like everything is bugging me, and i cant let go of anything. The stuff with my dad... it seriously sucks, and you know if i look back on solvang, I dont think a town could be any cuter... I loved it there... i wish Solvang could be here in alaska... it would look prettier alll covered in snow anyway... I miss people, and pretty much have lost contact with all my best friends... Little Levi is off doing his own thing, he is on a BBall team now... and Im missing it. All his stuff he cares about Im missing it... I wish I could still be there for him... I feel bad. Then how levi is leaving soon... for a month and a half... I dunno what im gonna do |
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| You can grip it, squezze it, and hold onto it forever, and it can still slip away |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006|03:06 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  chipper | ] |
OKay, lol this weekend wasnt very cool, Im starting to turn into how i used to be and be a problem for everyone and beat myself up for everything, its really stupid and i cant seem to get a grip. My brother is being a butt, i think thats all thats really getting to me. I dont get to see Levi today, Im sad, lol okay not sad but I really wanna see him. So I think im gonna go home, play music out in the garage till I fall asleep. I had a sub n both classes today so i was looking up tattoos and guitar tabs the whole time, yeah... wow, waste of time when im trying to get as much stuff as possible done. There isnt anything I can do on my own like that though, cause i gotta get the stuff approved and really think about them and blah blah blah blah blah. But seriously. I think im actually gonna do this. Go home, Light the garage, get it warming up, go inside deck out my room with my sweet pix, haha, then go play guitar...
Yeah though we got the band going. Starting Point and the garage all fixed up, its awesome. Woop! :p Im happy. Haha, Later peopleses. |
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| Logging into unspoken words |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|02:59 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
Here again, Its so weird and kinda funny how everyone thinks California is like... heaven or something. Everyones like yeah lets go party in Cali, spring break rock on.... lol I just laugh, huh??? I'm pretty cold I have like permanent chills its so weird and... I cant wait to play music tonight... i hope this band thing acutally like.. goes... like Matt wants to and Levi... wants to I dont think he really likes it though, but I'm a person driven by music its weird. Songs are memories, the words make you think, I can relate to alot of them, they mark certain points in my life... you know It sounds dumb. Music shows who I am and i really wish we could actually... PLAY. Grr... thats all i gotta say... Grr. |
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| When you come back down |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| | amused | ] |
I have that song by nickle creek stuck in my head. I wanna just go home jam out all night and sleep. Its a waste of a day but it sounds nice. You know the more I think of Cali the more I miss it but I dont want to go back. Its weird I dont get it but whatever. I think I'm done here though. Byes Meggs |
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| Someday I will find what hope was lost |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|01:22 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  tired | ] |
I totally love being able to do this, lol yessss. Okay, Today im so drained, Being on the phone till like 3 then wakin up at 8... crazY ok not really but Im tired and need an excuse. Haha you know what, I want to be buried with Silly putty in my casket, lol that way when Im dead i can play with it. Being in a casket for ever... freaking boring, haha. Bobby has silly putty... wow see i am bored, silly putty freaking Rocks. Okkkkkkkkkkay, yeah im dumb. Im seriously doing NOTHING right now... like at all... lol and dont have any assignments... ughh I wanna go home, Later Loves... Meggs
No actually Im going to add onto this.. I just went back and reread alot of the things, just glanced over it. Im seriously so happy here, lol Cali was great but it doesnt compare to this, I love it up here.You know you guys should all comment on here, lol Id love it, makes me happy. I think the only thing that hurts.. would be all this that happened with my dad. You know I didnt wanna get disowned... when I left my mom.. thats all I had, at first he did alot for me then we moved and... wine country... It was bound to happen. All the fights and everything most of the time shouldnt have happened but it all added onto stuff, now.... Im not welcome back, Im dead to him and I still remember how he used to be.. so it just kinda... sucks. No matter what i do to get over it I dont know if I ever will. I wish I could just say that I dont have a dad, like he wants... but I cant do that. I can tell myself it but in the end, I know I'm still wrong. But hey there were good times. You know people always say to look back and you want to remember the good things, but I wish I couldnt. Yeah they were awesome... yea I love my dad more then he could.. ya know.... but If only bad things happened I think it would be easier to say good bye. Ive decided and been thinking for a while, thats my flaw, saying good bye... I dont get why its so hard. Peace... |
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| Now and again I find myself, tracing the shapes in your eyes |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|01:59 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | As I Lay Dying \m/(x.x)\m/ | ] |
wow its been a while. Okay, haha well I love it up here more then the world, sometimes a little homesick but hey, I could go back to Cali, in time right? I started school up here, I love it, Im already almost to graduation. The people here rock, couldnt get any cooler, Levi is joining the coast gaurd, leaving in March, Me and by bro are tight and cool and Matt... hes just something else. In a good way. Something more then wonderful, best friend ive ever had. The band thing is going.... weird not really happening BUT, our garage, is totally our stage. We threw that concert at starting point before they took it over, I loved that place, haha home away from home. Im at school right now, no internet at home, so ill update when I can, for you that still read. Ive been writting alot of songs and its pretty sweet, Im getting better and amazing myself, but hey i dont want to sound egatisical so ill back off. This guy Mike here, hes pretty cool, lol thinking about him right now.People amaze me sometimes. Lets see whats up untill next time, Love lots. Meggs |
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| Lifes not blowing her kisses anymore |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|09:57 am] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | Peculiar People Band~Can I Leave My Hand | ] |
TOdays great. Its a half day I get out in like an hour or so, Ughh, Day after tomorrow, I'll home, I'm so excited its crazy. Haha, we had a stupid drill Yay I got to stand by a fence for like half an hour with the sun in my eyes cause the evil space chipmunks were trying to blind me so they can take over the fence and controll all the little Squirrels by catchin them in this huge blob of.. fence, GOSH but I was too quick, so I'm pretty much cool. Haha, okay, I'm really just rocking out in Compy class, this is totally my last time in this class which kinda blows but hey, I hve to work when I get home on a BUNCH of homework and get it all done to turn in tomorrow and then I'll have btter grades to transfer, and dude.. my dads comming hometoday and I still have to write that letter... and hide it somewhere, I should really start packing, haha it would make sense. I love Levi! Haha random outburst there, its totally awesome, I cant wait till were both up there, seriously.. Im like in shock that I still got all this working, I was so wreckless and such... and now like... LIfes everything. I love it. Ooopsies, Im outtie |
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| Thunder trapped inside the ice, still as picture, save motion, its moving |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|05:11 pm] |
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Yup, todays Okay ya know... I did nothing in Math nothing in English, Nothing in AP Euro but hey I wrote a song. Its pretty awesome but I like.. can't put guitar to it, nothing sounds right lol... 2 days seems like an eternity, so on that part today isn't so good. But then I had fun talking to Matt. Levi is... lol I dunno but he couldnt get on. I should be like takin pics or something right now but I'm not. I don't know why. I think I'm gonna go sleep, but an end to my negativity and make the day pass sooner. Today was also great though I had a smile on my face |
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| Celebrate Mistakes |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|11:33 am] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | Hypnotized-Pillar | ] |
I'm totally in Compy class... its just now hitting me how great lifes gonna be when I get up there, seriously if I have all this made... Dreams can come true if you work hard enough, I cant wait, 3 more days, I'm seriously so happy nothing could bring me down. Haha last Night I was being such an idiot on the phone, WOW. I have alot of homework, ughhh Lame school! Other then totally rocking out right now, I'm bored, haha... I'm so awake lol and now I have a test in Bio, lol anyone wanna party instead!? Seriously lets go throw a concert whose game!??? lol or maybe I should learn the desk isnt a drum and just put the pencils down... shhhhhh... It really is a drum, Imma spay and said its a drums so dude... its a drum. Gosh I love this song, Pillar rocks my socks... and mittens haha I dont have mittens tho, dude... I really wish I had a Kitten. Opps Imma start singing! Hewo Drums! lol I'mma dork. |
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| Life is good... but enternal life is better |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|09:26 am] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  loved | ] |
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.-Galatians 2:20
I was just going threw some scriptures and I found these right here. This first one relates alot to my own life. I used to not beleive and I was so blind. Untill I relized how much christ is there... and I'd just like to thank a few people that led me to it. Zack McCormack, In monument colorado, his worship band.. Brouhgt me close but I moved.. and Lost faith. Then Levi Lutz brought me to it. Levi is so amazing and truely blessed. He has helped my family so much and I'm sure many others. I love him so much and pray that were together for a long time. I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. My new life has been threw Christ and I never want it to end.
I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Juses, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up his Kingdom: Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a Time is coming when people will no longer listen to the sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.-2 Timothy 4:1-4
This one I put in here so whenever I need a reminder, I'll know that my job is to reach out and bring other people close to Christ.
But you, Timothy, certainly know what I teach, and how I love, and what my purpose in life is. You know my faith, my patience, my love and my endurance. You know how much persecution and suffering I have endured. You know all about how I was persecuted in Antioch, Iconium, and Lystra-but the Lord resqued me from all of it. Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil people and impostors will flourish. They will decieve others and will themselves be decieved. But you must remain faithful to the thinkgs you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from chilhood, and they have given you the wisdom to recieve the salvation that comes bny trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. 2 Timothy-3:10-17
This one is to remind me who to call on for guidence and when I need answers, True words are in the bible anywhere I go, whatever the situation.
I'm home sick today, Last night... Soo wasn't good. Throwing up is soooo gross like seriously, ughh I hate it. Then I didn't want to complain cause I was talking to Levi and trying to cheer him up. I felt so bad cause I had the worst headache ever, I have a fever, and I was talking to him, me being kinda quiet but like I had to go for a minute, I was talking to him and like... Totally had to throw up, so I was like hey hey call me back in 10 minutes, ughhh, I hate being sick, and I felt fine all day, I don't get it. So today I'm staying home cause.. well to make sure I'm better and I have so much work to do for school before I leave on Saturday. I can't wait.. 4 days. I gotta go get some work done, and talk to my mom (hopefully shes feeling better) and see if I can find out where I'm living in a week! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|12:44 pm] |
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I havent kept on this, Shame on me, haha. Well okay, I quit my job... well not really quit. I talked to Val about me moving and shes dissappointed but... I don't know. Friday is my last night working there. Last friday I was cutting Lemons and cut my finger and on top of it starting to bleed and Lesly freaking out, then I got Lemmon juice on it so It stung and didnt't stop trobbing like it has its own heartbeat all night. Then the next day I had to come in to help out with Murder Mystery(which was really awesome by the way) and I was cutting Lemons again and got more lemon juice in it. Toady it doesnt have its own heartbeat but it hurts anytime I touch something, lol. I feel lame... My dads gone, for a week. In chicago for work and such. He gets back Friday night so I'm going to take him to lunch and stuff on Saturday before I go to the airport. Ummm I'm leaving in 5 days totally excited but I feel bad for leaving Levi and stuff here. I love Levi Lutz and its awesome. I never want it to change and I can't wait to get home, I still dont know where I'm living though.. its hard... thats kinda bad. 5 days in counting and and I dont even have a place, Yup, I dunno what else to say. |
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| With you till the end~and further. |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|04:44 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | Our Lady Peace~Falling Back to Me | ] |
Today has been good, woke up early, got ready for church then had a few hours, so I played guitar, made everyone pancakes, haha yay.. pancakes, then umm, made some coffee, yessss, then went to church. It was good, totally loved it, I wish I could go everyday, Earnie was there today... he is so funny its unbelievable, Hes so awesome too his personality, and I learned alot about him today. Hes like 80 yrs old too, Hes a hero if I ever saw one. Guitar in church today.. yesss. Then we went up to Lompoc, washed the car and got my lil froggie some crickets.I came back and talked to Levi, I totally hope his arm is okay.. hes at the doctors right now, and I'm uber worried about everything. I know how bad he doesnt wanna get surgery, and I hope everythings okay.. :(
Last night I totally made this 
All my energy is draining, I don't get it, I was so hyper and happy all day now I'm like... lol quiet and just sittin here. I miss talking to my family alot... Uberly miss it. Kinda sucks. I guess all there is to do now, is pray for everything to go greatly. That just about sums it up for today.. haha. |
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| And it's when I'm with you, Everything falls into place |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|07:53 pm] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  content | ] |
Im totally in a weird mood today, Things are great, loving life... lol Just scared I guess you could say, maybe scared of life I dont know, but 14 days, and everything is going to be so... hard... Its scary. On a better note, today was good, Spanish test, pretty sure I did good, and of course its Friday, Awesome, I have to work tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to cuddle up in my comfy little bed, wish Levi was here, and watch Brother Bear, cause its the coolest/cutest movie ever... maybe someone in my family will actually be home or return a phone call tonight, That would make my night, nobodys ever there... but I'm going to make this short, so I can go talk to Levi before it kicks me off. Lovesz~ |
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| Loserface |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|10:51 am] |
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| |  optimistic | ] |
Haha, I freaking love my outline on this thing, incase nobody knows what it is... lol its a guinea pig, all craczy checkered and whatnot, haha, Happy HALLOWEEN, I get home early and I'm gonna go get some popcorn, lol cuddle up in my Comfy as ever bed, and watch marathons or Halloween, Freddy, and Jason movies, haha Friday the 13th, By myself too, thats how big of a loser I am, just kidding I'll watch it with my teddy bear, pshh Loser face, gosh. Last night was so annoying, I couldnt fall asleep till like 11 30 to 12, when I had been laying there since 10 and then I woke up at 3 and couldnt fall back asleep till 4, when I kept waking up all kinds and then woke up around 5 when my alarm went off, then slept till 6 which seemed to go by faster then ever. Driving me nuts, omgosh. I'm TOTALLY rocking out in my mind right now, and so needs to get out of class, Ughh Final in Bio next, Lame... Now I'm bored all kinds. No way, check it out 19 days! |
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| Theres something about the way, you do everything you do |
[Oct. 30th, 2005|10:09 am] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | |\/|u$iC |
| | Bad~U2 | ] |
Hewo all, haha yesterday rocked, okay all I did was lay in bed, all comfy comfy as ever cuddling with my teddy bear and oodles of pillows, and talked to Levi, sounds lame to anyone else but I was in heaven. Oddles and boodles of fun, haha. Im so excited 20 days! I gotta work today, but I think I get pais so that makes it sweet. I feel like such a dork, Im sittin here in my Mexico pajamas, home alone totally rocking out to u2, haha dont make fun of me, Im having to much fun making fun of myself. Halloween on Monday, half day and OMGOSH marathons of just about the coolest movies there possibly is, Halloween, Freddy Krueger movies, Jason movies/ friday the 13th. Oh yeah and Halloween is with Mike Myers, lol lets see what else is there.. that It the clown movie just made me laugh, it reminded me of that movie Labrenth, with the kids and the little puppet peole and such, except that was made for kids and as like, a journey, It was actually made to scare people and it worked... on alot of people that just makes me laugh, Haha, Okay well I'm totally done here. Imma go rock out somemore, Pshhhhaw! |
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| Look at that photograph |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|11:07 am] |
| [ | |\/|ood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
Hey there, Its Meg, Okay new Live journal my old one... wow, I dont even remember it, too long ago, too much drama, Im so done, Okay Im in Compy class, haha, Visual Tech, I havent done anything all class is great, and I still have an A, haha. I have to work today after school I'm gonna have a talk with Valarie though because I'm actually quitting. I kind of feel guilty because its my first job and all but hey, Whatever. Haha Duckies rule my pond like world... Im still laughing, haha, how cool would that be to have a duck, I think I'd die, hehe. It needs to be friday already, Woot! Homecomming! Theres the assembly today, I remember last year, for this assembly there was Ryan and he got all sad, totally not cool but hey Im outties, Im gonna go find this song thats stuck in my head. |
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alaskan_cutie's journal